How To Build Your Vision For The Next 3-5 Years With The Self Authoring Program


If one of the most common pieces of advice that are out there when it comes to achieving one’s long-term dreams is to simply have a vision, then why is it that most people don’t have one?

Based on my recent experience, I believe the answer to that question is that people think they have a vision because they have ideas. Ideas, however, are only part of the equation of building a vision.

I thought I had a vision because I’ve had a list of things that I want to accomplish in my life. However, I now realize there’s more to a vision than having an idea or a list of ideas. Building a vision takes thought, consideration, and imagination. Bob Proctor does a great job of explaining the importance of building a vision here …

A vision is a long-range view of a multiplicity of things you want to do.
— Bob Proctor

Using The Self Authoring Program To Build Your Vision For The Next 3-5 Years

Since I wrote my recent article about gaining clarity and getting after your 2019 goals, I took my list of goals and incorporated them into an articulated vision for the next 3-5 years, and here’s how I went about it.

As I’ve recently mentioned on my blog and on Instagram, I’ve been working on finishing an online writing program called Self Authoring. The program has four modules— 1) Past Authoring, 2) Present Authoring | Faults, 3) Present Authoring | Virtues, and 4) Future Authoring, and the objective of completing the modules is to help one clarify his/her vision and plan for the next 3-5 years.

The program claims that people who write in detail to “collectively” explore their past, present, and future “chart a simpler and more rewarding path through life” as well as become “more productive, persistent, and engaged in life.”

The Self Authoring program was created by Dr. Jordan B. Peterson and a team of clinical and research psychologists from the University of Toronto and McGill University. In recent years, Dr. Peterson’s message has gained traction after he began uploading his taped University lectures to his YouTube channel, which now has over 1.9 million subscribers.

We don’t experience any positive emotion unless we have an aim, and we can see ourselves progressing towards that aim. ... If you don’t have a noble aim, then you have nothing but shallow, trivial pleasures, and they don’t sustain you.
— Dr. Jordan B. Peterson

Finishing the Self Authoring program was my first major writing goal for 2019. Some might ask, “What’s the benefit of spending time on an online writing program and not just get to work?”

First, I wanted to see greater progress toward my long-term goals this year, so I questioned whether my vision was clear and strong enough. Because I believe in Dr. Jordan Peterson’s philosophies, I trusted that the writing program he developed would be a positive experience on some level and help me create a clear vision.

Now, after going through it and experiencing many powerful realizations and distilling a lot of complex info, I feel as though I now have a clear vision for the next 3-5 years.

While everything is still fresh in my mind, I thought I’d share some of the key things that were revealed to me as a result of going through the Self Authoring program. With each of the 4 modules, I will quickly explain each one, what it revealed, and what I now have as a result.

The program states that one does not have to complete all of the modules and they can be completed in whatever order one wishes. Personally, I felt it would be valuable to complete all of them and start with the past. That just made sense to me, and it worked great.

After going through all four, I will add that I felt the Past and Future Authoring modules were the most valuable.

Not all of the modules take the same amount of time. The Past Authoring module took the longest for me to complete. I also did a little extra work in between each module, and I will explain that as I go.

The Four Modules Of The Self Authoring Program

Module 1: Past Authoring: The Past Authoring module first instructed me to divide my life into 7 Epochs or time periods. My epochs weren’t equal in years but they were pretty equal in significance. For example, my first epoch was the first 18 years of my life, living at home with my parents while my second epoch contained the years from high school until I graduated from college.

Then, for each epoch, I was asked to list about 6 key experiences and was prompted to answer a series of questions about those events that helped me analyze them.

What Module 1: Past Authoring Revealed: The Past Authoring module was a gift in itself. I did spend a lot of time on it, but the results it produced were rewarding and priceless. After printing out my 24-page “autobiography,” I read through it with a highlighter and here is what I gained and realized:

  • More gratitude for my life’s journey

  • More trust that life works itself out

  • How I learned to trust my intuition very early in life and how it continued to guide me through the years

  • From a young age, I saw potential in others and desired to help others realize their potential

  • What and who shaped me through the years

  • The type of people I gravitate towards

  • What motivates me

  • Situations when I felt most myself

  • My top priority in life

  • Significant, life-defining crossroads

  • Every situation and challenge is a learning opportunity

  • Where the limiting beliefs about myself originated and how some that persist are no longer relevant.

  • An interesting pattern: How during the times that I moved forward in life were preceded by 1) a feeling of discontent and 2) followed by a letting go.

The greatest benefit of going through this process was that by remembering my past from an experienced perspective, it made me feel more grateful for my life’s journey and helped me make new connections and realizations.

Module 2: Present Authoring | Faults: In this module, from a comprehensive lists of undesirable habits, I was asked to select the ones that pertain to me, concerning many different aspects of my personality. Eventually, that list was condensed considerably, and I was asked to 1) write about how each fault in that shortened list impacted me in life, 2) consider a better outcome of that situation and 3) some ideas for improvement in that area.

Module 3: Present Authoring | Virtues: In this module, from comprehensive lists of positive personality traits organized by categories, I was asked to select those that pertain to me. Then, from that list of traits, I was asked to select a smaller, focused list of traits that I would like to capitalize on in the future. Then I was asked to write about each of those traits in detail.

What Modules 2 & 3: Present Authoring | Faults & Virtues revealed: First, it was great to have a condensed list of my strongest faults and virtues. It was great to go through each one and write in detail about how each negatively/positively impacted me in real life and consider ways to prevent faults from impacting me going forward and consider ways to capitalize on my virtues. The benefit of this analysis is that it revealed to me the main things that are holding me back and those that I could further develop. Having two lists to refer to is also helpful.

Module 4: Future Authoring: In this module, I was first asked to imagine different aspects of my life and write about how I’d like to see them in the future. Then, I was asked to close my eyes and daydream about my ideal future as it relates to what I’d like to be doing, where I want to end up, what do I want to achieve these things, how I plan to achieve them and when. Alternatively, I was then asked to imagine and write about the future I want to avoid.

Then I was asked to title and describe my ideal future and list 8 important goals I would need to achieve to realize this ideal future and describe them in detail.

What Module 4: Future Authoring Revealed: What I loved about this module is imagining the details about those things I’d like to achieve and seeing them all come together. I was able to organize these 8 goals into chronological order so I know exactly what I need to be working on at a given time in order to advance to the next goal.

Long-term, large goals can seem overwhelming when there’s so much to be done but when they can be broken down into smaller goals and steps, it simplifies and clarifies what action needs to be taken and gives direction.

The Future Authoring module identified the following 4 critical areas that I need to allocate my time and energy to daily to reach my long-term dreams:

  1. Family comes first

  2. Daily Personal Development & Learning

  3. Daily: Work on my Platform/Blog

  4. Daily: Work on Long-Term Writing Project


Taking the time to write in detail about my past, present, and future was well worth the effort. I now have a better sense of what brought me to this point, what my strengths and weaknesses are, and the steps I need to take and milestones I need to achieve (by certain dates) to realize my vision.

So it’s not just a matter of having a list of ideas, it’s the deep thinking and use of the imagination that gives those ideas the power to activate, drive, and guide action over time.

Not only did the program reveal many valuable insights to me, it gave me a stronger sense of purpose and aim to guide my actions, which is priceless.

This program would be very useful to those who are ready for a change or to take action but …

  • feel stuck

  • are unsure about what to do first

  • feel their long-term goals are unreachable and overwhelming

  • want to discover and lead a purpose-driven life

Or, it’s simply a great exercise in self discovery.

Take Action

To learn about the Self Authoring online writing program and how to purchase it, click here.

Growing Up At The Jersey Shore In the 70s & 80s And How Technology Has Changed Life Since


In 2009, we moved our young family from Boston back to my Jersey Shore hometown. One of the main reasons we did so was to give our children the experience of growing up at the Jersey Shore and the freedom that goes along with it.

Living just north of Boston with our three small children, I often wondered what teenagers did all summer without access to the beach via a short bike ride.

Many Massachusetts families summer in New Hampshire and Maine so suburban towns tended to get a little sleepy during the summer months. Growing up at the Jersey Shore, I was used to my home being the summer destination and surrounding towns swelling with energy in the summer.

Sweet freedom via my shiny red Schwinn 10-speed and our town’s bike path was what I experienced growing up at the Jersey Shore. Not only was that freedom one the highlights of my youth, but it also helped shape me. Along with living closer to family, we wanted to give our kids that gift, so we jumped at the opportunity to pack up and relocate when my husband’s company restructured.

Now, 10 years later, all three of our children have experienced countless summer days of leaving the house early in the morning on their bikes, meeting up with friends, and having long days at the beach. They are the days when they are undoubtedly the happiest and have grown the most. They have given them room to solve problems, make decisions for themselves, be in control of their days, make mistakes they can learn from— all while having fun, making memories, and building friendships.

Technology Has Changed Practically Every Aspect Of Modern Life.

While I’m grateful that our kids have experienced the gift of Jersey Shore summers, sadly, a lot has changed over the years due to advancements in technology. Sure, technological advancements are responsible for many positive changes to modern life such as increased efficiency, knowledge, and creativity as well as better communication, self-expression, and navigation. (I often wonder how I survived without Google Maps.)

But these advancements also come with a cost, especially when it comes how we relate to one another, communicate, socialize, and what we do for fun.

To preserve a little slice of history, in this post I’m sharing my narrow perspective on some of the contrasts between what I experienced as a kid growing up at the Jersey Shore in the 70s and 80s vs. how technology has changed that experience today.

There are numerous differences between then and now, and the more technology advances, the quicker the pace of change and the further we get away from some better practices of the past.

Revisiting the past and seeing some of the contrasts between then and now can help us possibly preserve some of the positive things we did back then (that are falling to the wayside) and perhaps establish boundaries for managing technology in our lives today. Easier said than done, of course.

So, without further ado, let’s take look at some of the differences …


1 | Phones: In the 70s and 80s, each home typically had one phone or possibly a second one in a bedroom. Phones either hung on a wall or sat on a table top, and one was confined to the length of the phone’s cord. There were no cordless phones. In fact, phone cords would typically get warped from being stretched to their max.

Growing up, our family’s phone hung on the wall to the left once we entered our kitchen from the back door. When my older sister went to college, I eventually moved into her room because she had a princess rotary-dial phone hooked up.

Most of my friends did not have phones in their rooms, and if we wanted to speak to each other, we had to call the house phone, which usually involved speaking to a parent first. At the bus stop, everyone spoke to one another, and we got to know each other through those daily conversations.

Not having a phone with us all day forced us to communicate with whoever was in our presence. We weren’t looking down and escaping into our phones.

Today, phones have literally become part of us and are acceptable to be out practically everywhere. They are easily the first and last parts of our days. They are the portal to our recent memories, schedules, contacts, and the answers to our questions.

The main drawback of this new culture is that the phone’s presence often comes between us and the moment we’re in and/or the person we are in the company of.


2 | Television: In the 70s and 80s, families would gather around the television together daily. In my house growing up, we’d watch the news, Little House on the Prairie, sports, holiday specials, awards shows, 60 minutes, after-school specials, and daytime drama shows like General Hospital. Come to think of it, all homes watched the same shows because there were so few channels to choose from. Today there are hundreds of channels and outlets to lure our attention so everyone’s perceptions widely vary.

Over a year ago, we made the decision to cancel our cable, and honestly, we haven’t missed it at all. We found there wasn’t much worth watching on TV. The news mainly consists of useless sensational negative stories and most shows have become increasingly violent and disturbing. If there’s a big game that we want to watch, we’ll purchase it through a sports channel. If we do gather around the TV, it’s more likely during a weekend day or night to watch a sporting event or special.

While we really don’t have an interest in watching TV, the answer isn’t for everyone to be on his/her own device in separate parts of the house. This is an ongoing challenge, and we are trying to introduce new practices like turning off all devices an hour before bedtime during the week and watching more movies together.

3 | Radio: In the 70s and 80s radio was everywhere and a main source of information— news, music, pop culture, sports, as well as talk radio. The radio was always on in my room, my parents’ cars, and public places. Local and out-of-town beachgoers carried big “boom box” radios onto the beach, unapologetically blasting them out in the open.

“American Top 40 With Casey Kasem” was a Saturday morning staple. I can still feel the calming vibe of that show playing on my clock radio as I got ready to go out on Saturdays. I remember tearing up to the dedications and listening intently until the #1 song of the week was announced. Would it be my favorite song that week? Had to wait and see.

Today, with radio still playing commercials, and kids having the ability to listen to what they want (on-demand and commercial-free,) radio is nowhere near as relevant.

4 | MTV: When MTV launched in 1981, my friends and I were hooked, and it was always on in the background when we hung out. MTV and music videos brought our favorite songs to life, but we had to be patient and wait for our favorite video to be reaired. World Premiere videos were anticipated as well.

Today, MTV is not relevant. Our kids have never asked to watch it, and the last I looked, MTV was more about reality TV than music. MTV is another background noise that has been silenced and YouTube has taken its place.

Music & Photos

5 | Music: In the 70s and 80s, it seems as though music played out in the open more than it does today. I had a radio and stereo system in my room, and my parents could hear my music. We experienced music through albums, cassettes, mixtapes, and eventually CDs.

The release of new music was long-anticipated, and the only way to hear our favorite song on repeat was by listening to the album or cassette we purchased. We’d have to stop and physically reset the needle or rewind the cassette.

To create a cassette of our very favorite songs, we’d record our own mixtape of songs from the radio or an album. Although these recordings were low quality with lots of distracting breaks and cut off beginnings and endings of songs, these tapes were snapshots of what we were drawn to at that time.

Today music is released in singles and can be downloaded into personal devices without having to leave the home. There are no more album covers to study or lyric sheets to memorize. Today’s Spotify playlist has taken the place of the mixtape. Teens listen to their music through earbuds or iPods, which is a much different experience than listening to music from a stereo system while holding an album.

To keep the tradition alive, I play all types of music in the kitchen and still put my records on at night.


6 | Record Stores: In the 70s and 80s browsing through record stores and record departments was a common weekend pastime. My favorite record store back then was probably the one in Peddler’s Village on the Manasquan circle. Loud music filled the store and posters lined every inch of the wall space. All of the albums were neatly organized alphabetically by genre and artist. Just taking it all in, thumbing through albums, and looking at album covers for even a few minutes was satisfying. And if I was lucky enough to buy something, I could barely stand to wait until I got home to play it.

Today, vinyl is making a serious comeback and visiting local record stores is one of my favorite little pastimes. Record stores bring me right back to that experience, and I’m grateful for those who make it a priority to keep it alive. It’s also great to see young people in record stores today, taking to vinyl, and sharing in that experience.

7 | Photos: Growing up, I always owned a camera, but I only carried it with me occasionally or during special outings like class trips. In high school, I became more aware that that phase of my life was coming to a close, and I took more pictures and created several large scrapbooks/photo albums.

While selfies were very rare because we didn’t have screens on our cameras, every now and then we’d point the camera at ourselves, but we’d have to wait for the film to be developed to see how the pic turned out. Boardwalk photo booth photos are probably the closest thing to today’s selfies. I have many that were taken through the years, and I cherish my collection.

As nice as it would be to have more photos from my youth, I believe there was some benefit for not always having a camera on hand like today. We lived in the moment without constant concern for how we’d look in a photo.

Overall, I love photography and capturing moments, but I realize that the camera can take away from a moment and not every moment needs to be shared. Being in the moment completely and having a memory can be good enough.

For Fun

8 | Hangouts. In the 70s and 80s, it seems as though there were more options for places to hang out in our spare time than kids have today. If we wanted to connect with our friends, we had to meet up face to face.

When I was in 5th grade, a new rollerskating rink, The Rollerdrome, opened up right in the center of our town. Initially, my friends and I started to go there every Saturday afternoon. Outside of hanging with the boys in my neighborhood, it was probably my first experience of mixing with boys socially. Eventually, we started going at night with the older kids, but within a couple of years the novelty wore off, and the place got a little sketchy. Today, the building is a car dealership and besides a local ice rink, no other option has taken its place for kids today.

Another place we hung out at was a place called Pedder’s Village, a strip mall converted into a flea-market style indoor mall that we could walk through without going outside. It was toally normal for parents to drop their kids off there for a few hours. We’d get leather wristbands with our names imprinted on them (I can still smell the scent of leather in the air.) We’d grab a slice of pizza and a Coke for lunch. We’d stop in the record store and browse through some albums. We’d go to the costume jewelry store and see what they had. And we’d hang out in the dark arcade and play air hockey, pinball, or Pacman. Peddler’s Village eventually closed and turned into an outlet mall which also has since closed. Currently, the structure is vacant, and we’re awaiting what’s next.

Of course, we also hung out at the mall, but that was a bit of a drive and our parents weren’t always up for the it. Unlike today, McDonald’s was always a busy popular spot as well. Before more awareness spread about eating healthy, McDonald’s had at least four cashiers open and the lines could easily be six people deep at all registers during peak hours. Today, McDonalds is rarely busy, and you don’t even have to leave your house if you want it because Uber Eats will deliver it to you.

Growing up, it seemed like every time a new movie came out we'd go to the movies. Today, for many reasons, there’s less of a need or desire to go to a theatre.

During the summers, as teens we spent the majority of our waking hours (outside of our summer jobs) at the beach. We’d get there relatively early in the morning and sometimes linger until the sun was going down. Then we’d go home, eat, shower, and go back for what we called “the beach at night”— sitting on the cement ledge underneath the Manasquan waterslide, going into the arcade, and flirting with boys. Our curfew was 10 pm so those were full days of being outside and meeting up with friends.

Today, virtual reality multi-player video games overshadow face-to-face interactions, especially during the colder months. As much as this gets under my skin, I remind myself that there are limited options for places for the kids to go today, and at least they’re laughing, staying out of trouble, and exchanging a little banter.

As each summer comes around, I am even more thankful that we live where the kids can get outside, be free, and are largely detached from technology.

The Main Contrasts Between Then And Now

After writing this article and reflecting on the differences between then and now, the most noticeable drawbacks from advancements in technology can be summed up in three words …

  • Presence: Years ago, living was primarily in-the-moment and not interrupted by a device.

  • Personal Interactions: Before the smartphone, people gave each other their attention and had to meet up face to face to connect.

  • Patience: We had to be patient, wait for things we wanted, or perhaps work a little to get them.

How Do We Remain In Control Of The Impact Technology Has On Our Lives?

Writing this post has been both fun as well as eye-opening. It made me realize just how much technology has crept in and changed the way we live— for both the good and the not so good.

Personally, I’m not a big fan of spending my time shopping so I love how online shopping saves time and energy. I think the smartphone is an amazing device with so many positives, and technology overall has introduced many efficiencies and released so much human creativity into the world.

However, all of that comes with somewhat of a cost, which I try to be mindful of and something I struggle with daily as a parent.

Here are a few of the things my husband and I try to instill in our kids to keep alive some of the good things about life before the digital age arrived:

1 | Think of creative ways to teach our kids patience.

2 | Encourage face-to-face interaction among friends.

3 | Establish tech boundaries in the home.

4 | Model positive behavior.

5 | Make our kids aware of how they’re coming across with their tech habits.

6 | Have screen-free blocks of time or a screen-free day.

Hopefully, we will get to a point where we can benefit from all of the gifts that technological advancements offer while knowing exactly when it’s time to look up to take in life and the beauty that’s around us.

The Importance Of Proper Hydration According To Tom Brady's TB12 Method

tom brady tb12 method hydration

In his 2017 book, The TB12 Method, to illustrate the importance of proper hydration, Tom Brady makes the powerful analogy of a hydrated muscle resembling a fresh beef tenderloin and a dehydrated muscle resembling a piece of dried up beef jerkey.

The TB12 Method is Brady’s fitness training methodology for achieving a “lifetime of sustained peak performance,” which he and his trainer, Alex Guerrero, designed over the course of 12 years of working together.

The TB12 Method is a holistic training lifestyle that centers around developing and maintaining muscle pliability, a way of preventing injuries by keeping muscles strong, active, and easily flexible.

According to his book, Brady and his trainer believe that “muscle pliability is the missing leg of traditional strength and training model of aerobic activity and weight lifting” and that “pliability and the TB12 Method can help reduce the risk of injury” as well as provide a set of tools for anyone to enhance their long-term potential.

The TB12 method consists of 12 principles, and this article highlights the principle which Brady believes to be “by far” the most important of the twelve— proper hydration.

In the book’s chapter on proper hydration, it explains the critical role it plays in aiding in bodily functions and gives some fresh and sensible tips on getting the most out of your water intake.

Since what the book suggests is relatively easy to implement, I thought it would be worthwhile to summarize the book’s main points in this blog post.

Sometimes a new understanding of why something is important is just enough of a catalyst for a new habit to take hold.

Before getting into the information, I will share that Brady’s regimen has received criticism, saying it’s not backed by science and that “exercise science has never heard of muscle pliability.” On the other end of the spectrum, in this article from 1994, Assistant Professor of Dance at UCLA, Judy Alter, claimed: “flexibility is out, muscle pliability is in.”

As with any topic, take the points that resonate with you and leave the rest.

The TB12 Method’s Beliefs On Hydration

Listed below are TB12’s reasons why pliability and overall health is dependent upon hydration:

1 | Water constantly regenerates our muscles and maintains our level of pliability. Therefore, developing optimal muscle strength depends on pliability.

2 | Water helps the lymphatic system flush out toxins. Therefore, if we don’t drink enough water, toxins build up in our cells, tissues, and organs.

3 | Water hydrates, while soda, juice, coffee, tea, and alcohol are dehydrating and take away from pliability.

4 | Water with added electrolytes is best. Electrolytes are already present in our bodies in the form of sodium, calcium, potassium, magnesium and other nutrients. Electrolytes create an electric charge that aids in many essential processes in the body like muscle contraction, nerve impulse, the lymphatic system, and regulating pH levels. Read more about electrolytes here.

5 | Because water aids in so many bodily functions like, metabolism, digestion, brain, kidney, muscle, joint and circulating oxygen into the bloodstream, it’s important to keep those systems flushed with water.

6 | Water hydrates cartilage, which decreases joint pain. This is especially important for athletes.

7 | Drinking water replenishes what we sweat and breathe out every day. Most athletes sweat and breathe out between 8-10 cups of water a day.

Why Enhance Your Water With Electrolytes?

The TB12 Method believes that water enhanced with electrolytes makes your hydration “wetter" and here’s why:

We lose water and electrolytes by breathing and sweating, which is why we are often dizzy and/or faint during exercise. Electrolytes help replace the minerals and nutrients lost through breathing and sweating.

Electrolytes help water permeate our cells. Water that’s been enhanced with electrolytes passes in and out of your cells easily and efficiently.

There are many electrolyte supplements on the market today. The formula Tom Brady uses is available on his website. According to the product description, the “TB12™ Electrolytes are harvested, not made — increasing the concentration of the 72 trace minerals extracted from an inland sea to effectively enhance hydration. This natural ionic trace mineral blend is flavorless and naturally preserving” and can be added to any drink.

The TB12 Method’s Take On Different Types Of Water

Tap Water: Water from municipal sources most likely contains chlorine, flouride and possibly lead. Therefore, filter it first, even when using in small amounts.

Distilled Water: Since distilled water is stripped of its mineral content, add electrolytes.

Spring Water: Bottles labeled “spring water” may or may not have been treated and could contain bacteria or could simply be treated tap water from various sources.

Mineral Water: Mineral water is a good option because it usually has an alkalizing effect.

Carbonated Water: Due to added sodium and that it contains less oxygen than regular water and could be acidic, Brady avoids carbonated water.

TB12 Method’s Rule of Thumb: At a minimum, drink at least one half of your body weight in ounces every day. To offset the dehydrating effects of a single serving of coffee, tea, juice, or alcohol, drink two servings of water, preferably enhanced with electrolytes.

The TB12 Method’s Recommended Hydration Routine

  • Drink 1-2 glasses of water when you first wake up.

  • Spread out your hydration during the day. Keep in mind that it takes at least 14 days to reach a baseline of hydration. So keep your intake of water consistent from day to day.

  • Limit drinking water during meals because it “washes away the body’s natural enzymes, interfering with digestion. Wait an hour or so after you’re done eating before drinking water.”


Although the TB12 Method is mainly geared toward helping serious athletes achieve a lifetime of sustained peak performance, it’s principles can be applied by anyone interested in maintaining general well being.

While I’ve always heard that it’s important to hydrate, I’ve never heard it explained for the reasons stated in Brady’s book. And since the reasoning seems logical as well as important, I’m willing to give it a try.

I’m glad I have a renewed appreciation for the importance of proper hydration, and hope to increase my water intake while decreasing my intake of beverages that are dehydrating (or at least offset the consumption with extra water.😉)

The Point of Decision: The Key To Staying On Track With Your Goals


The key to strengthening good habits and weakening the ones that don’t serve us comes down to one thing— decisions.

Now that we’re into February, the time that’s notorious for when most people have already thrown in the towel on their New Year’s resolutions and goals, I’ve been paying close attention to where I could potentially get tripped up so I can catch myself before getting off track.

And by paying close attention and weaving in the nuggets of wisdom I’ve been learning in my daily reading, it’s all starting to click.

What I’ve realized is that the critical microseconds when I’m making the small, everyday decisions like— to do something or not, to eat something or not, or to think something or not are what determine whether or not I stay disciplined.

So, in this post, I’ll share some practical tips and ideas that have been helping me stay on track since the New Year. These tips and ideas are a combination of insights I’ve been studying in my daily reading, discovering in online sources, and applying.

My goal for this post is to encourage you to hold on and keep pushing for your goals (after the New Year’s “buzz” has worn off). By applying a little ancient Stoic wisdom and modern-day neuroscience, you’ll see how the points of everyday decisions and choices hold the key to what you want.

Here we go!

1 | Acknowledge you are in control of your choices.

In the daily devotional I’m reading this year, The Daily Stoic, the theme for January has been “Clarity.”

The guiding principle of the ancient Stoic philosophy is that one must clearly identify the difference between what he can control/change and what he cannot, and not give energy to what he cannot control.

Instead, one should give energy to what he can control/change, and the Stoics believe that the main thing we do possess control over is our choices.

Staying on track with our goals has to do with making choices— most importantly, the many little choices or decisions we face throughout the day.

All of these little in-the-moment choices and decisions add up to our big picture.

Things like, “Should I buy these cookies or not?;” “Should I go to the gym or not?;” “Should I work on my side project or go to the movies?;” or even, “Is this thought healthy for me or not?” (Thoughts are an absolute choice as well because we have control over them.)

Seemingly little or insignificant everyday decisions compounded over time hold the key to shaping who we are and our future. The stronger we are in those microseconds, the abler we are to unlock our power in shaping ourselves and our future.

So rather than feel powerless and/or unconsciously make decisions and choices, when we create a space of awareness just before a decision, we acknowledge our power, override unsuccessful decision making patterns of the past, which better guides ourselves into the future.

2 | Activate your ability to reason.

Items 2-4 in this list are the “3 Areas of Training for every Stoic” and these areas ride on the heels of the overriding Stoic principle of knowing the difference between what you can and cannot control.

So, the first key in actually making a decision is to become aware or activate your ability to reason— wake up and pay close attention, if you will.

When you find yourself facing a decision about whether to or not do something that will impact where you want to go with your goals, activate your mind and create a sense of awareness, guiding yourself through the decision with your innate power of choice.

This heightened state of alertness helps you train your brain to make slower, conscious decisions vs. unconscious, stay-in-my-comfort-zone ones.

3 | Know your desires and aversions and associate them with pleasure and pain.

Desires are the things, actions, or even inactions that keep us on track with what we want. We strengthen our ability to seek them out by training our brain to associate them with pleasure at the point of decision.

Aversions are the things, actions, or inactions that stand between us and what we desire. We strengthen our ability to avoid them by training our brain to associate them with pain at the point of decision.

So depending on what your goal is, assign an aversion to the thing that stands in your way of staying on track. For me, sugar is no longer a source of pleasure; it’s an aversion. (My brain tells me it’s a source of pleasure, and this is what I need to retrain.)

Or, it could be a matter of action vs. inaction that you assign an aversion to. If you are trying to stay active, reframe that activity as pleasurable as opposed to painful. Within time, it absolutely will be a source of pleasure.

To dive into this point a little further, here’s a video of a talk given by fascinating neuroscientist, Moran Cerf, where he talks about a study to help people quit smoking where an aversion (the smell of rotten eggs) was used to retrain the brain to associate smoking with something bad.

4 | Deliberately direct your impulse to take action or inaction.

Finally, once you acknowledge how an aversion will lead you away from what you desire, it’s easier to resist an impulse and take the action (or inaction,) depending on what your goal is.

Resist the urge to stay safe and/or comfortable and guide your actions to reinforce your habit. Within time, your decisions will become second nature and require less thinking.

5 | When faced with the decision to quit or to keep going …

An additional interesting insight I learned from Moran Cerf’s talk is that our brain is in a certain state just before we are about to quit, for example, strenuous exercise.

One way to keep pushing is to say, “Yes, I want to give up, but I’m going to hang in here for a little longer,” and each time try to extend the time a little more before quitting.

I plan on trying this while running once the weather gets warmer. Rather than stop at the point I usually stop, I’ll keep going, even for just a little bit longer and add to that as much as I can.

According to Cerf, this practice trains one to make decisions that go against what the brain is telling us to do, which is to stay comfortable, recoil, and retreat.

Taking Things A Step Further

If you’re facing a goal that involves impulses that are particularly hard to resist, Moran Cerf suggests keeping a diary for a week where you log your decisions related to that goal or habit.

He encourages us to get to know our own brain and suggests taking note of the following items below as you make critical choices/decisions.

At the end of the week, see if you notice any patterns that made you stronger or weaker in your ability to make better decisions:

  • Hunger

  • Time of day

  • Social State (alone or in a group)

  • Urgency (close to a deadline)

  • Thought (deliberation)

  • Emotional State (angry, calm, anxious, afraid, etc.)

  • Sleep State (tired or rested)


Because we are wired to seek out what’s safe, comfortable, familiar, and pleasurable, our desires may be aversions and our aversions may actually be desires.

However, by stopping ourselves at the point of decision and reframing these things in our minds, we begin to retrain our brains to make strong decisions so we can grow.

Suffering is part of the equation for growth so, in order to grow, we have to initially endure some suffering. But over time the decisions require less thought, the suffering falls away, and we begin to see the results we desire.

To recap …

  • Know your goal.

  • Acknowledge you have control over your choices.

  • At the point of decision, activate your ability to reason.

  • Know your desires and aversions and associate them with pleasure and pain.

  • Deliberately direct your impulse to take action or inaction.

  • Keep a journal, if necessary.

As always, good luck!! Your efforts will be worth it!! ~Ellie

A Simple, All-Things-Considered Approach to Gaining Clarity & Getting After Your Goals in 2019


When 2019 rolled in, I considered having the tree down and decorations put away a great win. Coming out of the whirlwind of the holidays, I really hadn’t given much thought to my 2019 goals yet.

What I did know on January 1, however, is that I needed to do things differently than last year and I wanted to give myself some extra time to plan.

As much as I am happy with the progress I made last year, there was room for improvement in all areas.

I needed to continue doing some things, stop doing others, and start doing some other things. The question was, what exactly were those things?

Rather than come up with a few typical goal and resolution ideas and start diving in, I knew I needed a better strategy this year. Otherwise, I’d probably just repeat the results I’ve been getting for the past few years.

So in this post, I’m going to do my best to clearly communicate the process I went through to think deeply about my 2019 goals.

This post starts with the steps I took to decide what I’d focus on this year, and continues with how I’m working toward my goals daily.

Of course, it remains to be seen how well this process will work for me, but it felt great to gain clarity, clear some clutter, do some planning, and have somewhat of a roadmap before diving in. One month in— so far so good!

So grab some clean sheets of paper and set aside a chunk of time (1-2 hours) when you can think deeply about these questions. Ten minutes here and there parsed together isn’t the same as a continuous block of time to think deeply. It’ll be worth it!

I hope what I share is worthwhile for you too!

First … Gain Clarity

First, we need to know exactly what it is we want to achieve in the future. This way we will know the necessary baby steps we have to take every day to work toward this year’s goals.

But rather than write our goals FIRST, let’s look at the many areas of life where we possibly want to improve, peel back the layers a bit, and see what’s going on and why we’re stalling progress. This exercise is something we can refer back to during the year.

1 | Take Inventory

Think of all the areas of your life where you want to succeed. One option is to write each area at the top of a blank sheet of paper. (For example, for me, my areas are Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart, & Career. I thought of adding “Home” too but decided not to. This year I am focusing more on “internal” goals than “external.”)

(Another way to organize this info is to use index cards, which is what I did. Then I hung them on a wire rack with clothespins so I can refer to it all year.)

Next, for each of these areas, consider the following:

  • WINNING: What it means to you to be WINNING in that area.

    For me, “Mind” would be Learning, Inner Peace, and Mindset.

  • HOW TO: Now list the ways you can achieve success in that area.

    For me, “Mind” would be Meditation, Gratitude, Self-Care, Self-Educate and Daily Inspirational Reading.

  1. What’s GOING WELL for you in that area

    • This will reveal what’s already working for you in that area— the things to continue doing.

  2. What’s CHALLENGING you in that area

    • This will reveal where you are being tripped up and what’s blocking you from further success in that area— the things to lessen, simplify or (better yet) stop doing.

  3. What’s MISSING/BEING NEGLECTED in that area

  • This will reveal the things that you are neglecting in that area— the things to start doing.

2 | Look At Findings & Distill Info

Now, look at your challenges. Do any repeat across several areas?

What I realized after going through this exercise is that many of my challenges were the same across multiple areas— things like everyday demands of life, distractions, lack of planning, clarity, and specific action.

  • What this told me is that first I needed to look at my environments and remove clutter and distractions.

  • I also realized that I needed to identify areas where I could simplify my actions and/or plan better to guide my actions toward my goals.

Next, look at what’s being neglected in each area and these are possibly some new habits or practices you may want to incorporate into your weekly schedule.

3 | Make Your Short List Of New Habits/Practices To Implement & 2019 Goals

I believe we can only tackle so many new habits and goals at once, so it makes sense to pick the top new practices to implement and goals for each area.

I then listed on an index card the key new practices and year-end goals to focus on to move me forward in each of the areas listed above (Mind, Body, Spirit, Heart & Career).

Keep this list close by because you’ll need it soon!

Then … Clear The Clutter, Remove Distractions & Simplify

As I mentioned above, because distractions and clutter were plaguing me across many areas, I tackled this first.

Clutter blocks clarity and tugs at our attention, and our environments play a part in our productivity so this is a great place to start!

These may differ for you, but some of the areas where I was getting tripped up by distractions are:

1 | Home

I started with the common areas of the home and tidied up. Now, I’m gradually going through closets, drawers, and cabinets to thin out my possessions.

I think some of this distraction is due to my kids getting older and continually evolving, which leaves items they no longer use hanging around.

My goal for the remainder of the winter is to have our storage area in our basement totally cleaned out. Right now I’m giving some items away and what’s left at the end of March will get donated.

Cleaning out stuff can be both exhausting and daunting so in order to avoid overwhelm, make a list of mini projects and tackle them one by one. Consider giving yourself a deadline to get them done.

In the end, we feel so much lighter and that’s what we’re going for!

I recently cleaned out the bookshelves in my workspace and it feels great. I donated lots of books that I had already read or that no longer resonated with me, and all of the ones I kept I either love or can’t wait to read.

Daily reading is one of the practices I’m implementing this year, and now that my books are thinned out, I’m already making progress with my reading.

2 | Digital World

Some of the ways to eliminate digital clutter and distractions are: removing social media apps (even for a short time), turning off some/all notifications, deleting old phone contacts, removing last year’s photos from our phone, and unsubscribing from email lists that no longer serve you.

3 | Workspace

How do you feel in your workspace? Maybe it’s time to reconfigure or reorganize the entire space or areas of it. Do what you can to set it up so your work flows best, you feel inspired and can remain focused.

4 | Car

I consider my car to be another room, and I enjoy being in it so much more when it’s clean and tidy.

5 | Last but not least, simplify.

Think of tasks and processses that you repeat daily or weekly and how you can simplify and/or batch your actions to be more efficient.

Finally … Get After Your Goals!


1 | Look at the short list you created of new habits to implement & year-end goals. What goal(s) do you want to accomplish by the end of this year or in the next couple of years? What habits and practices practiced daily will help you chip away at those goals?

2 | Design & plan your life each day & week. Decide the best way to apply and schedule in the new daily practices and habits you want to make part of your routine. Maybe make a habit of scheduling things in on Sunday nights? See where you have an extra block of time or consider waking up a little earlier to start your day with a morning routine. In order to avoid overwhelm, consider implementing one at a time and add another once one takes hold. Keep this list handy and scan it daily to make sure you’re hitting on these areas regularly.

3 | Craft a “See, Feel and Believe Statement” where you list in detail what goals you want to achieve (include a $ amount, if applicable,) by what specific date, your plan of how you are specifically going to achieve it/them, and why it/they is/are important to you. Read this to yourself upon waking and before going to sleep every day/night. (This is another thing I wrote on an index card and keep it handy with my morning routine materials.)

4 | Start your days with wins. I recently reintroduced my morning routine, which takes about 15-20 minutes. I start with deep journaling about one thing I’m grateful for (I go into detail on that one thing;) I read one entry in the daily devotional I’m currently reading; I do a quick free-form “check-in with myself” entry in my dream journal; and finally, plan that day’s activities in my Productivity Planner. I end by reciting my “See, Feel, and Believe Statement,” while engaging my senses by seeing, feeling, hearing, and believing it to be already realized and in the present tense.

I leave my routine in a positive frame of mind, knowing exactly where I need to focus my energy that day. The best part is this positive feeling stays with me throughout the day, and I trust I’m on the right path.

5 | Aim for baby steps toward your goals every day. Baby steps translate into momentum and progress over time.

6 | Maintain a balance of grit and grace. Push yourself daily as well as be understanding with yourself on the days you fall short. All that matters is that you are growing and making progress over time.


Taking the time to get clear on the best areas I needed to focus on and uncovering what was holding me back was time well spent. I can already feel my actions being guided more purposefully. I hope what I shared in this post gives you a general framework to gain more clarity on what you’d like to achieve this year and beyond.

Be patient, keep pushing no matter what, and all the best to you in 2019!

My Ultimate Protein Smoothie Recipe

real jersey shore protein smoothie.jpg

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been turning to protein smoothies for one of my meals almost every day because they’re a fast way to combat hunger while getting a good dose of nutrition. They’re also delicious, satisfying for hours, and I feel great after— probably because they’re packed with good stuff!

Although I typically have them for breakfast or lunch, I sometimes make one for dinner if the kids are eating something that I’d rather not.

They’re also great if I feel a sudden spike in hunger after a workout, and they save me from reaching for quick, unhealthy options.

Another bonus is that they make for very little kitchen cleanup!

Left to Right: Navitas Maca Powder, Spectrum Ground Flaxseed, PlantFusion Protein Powder, Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides

Left to Right: Navitas Maca Powder, Spectrum Ground Flaxseed, PlantFusion Protein Powder, Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides

I’ve tried several protein powders, and the one I recommend below, PlantFusion, is by far my favorite and the one I always come back to. It’s silky smooth, not gritty, and the vanilla flavor is mild and not overpowering.

Below is some info (from the manufacturers) on the branded ingredients listed in the picture above and in my recipe below. I use all of these products on repeat.

I’ve provided links for you to learn more about these items through Amazon, where I’ve found the prices to be the best. Amazon even has one-time coupons for some of these items if it’s a first-time purchase.

All of the items are also listed in my Shop on my website.

Information From The Manufacturers

Navitas Organics Maca Powder: A Peruvian super-root used to bolster energy and vitality, Maca was revered for centuries by ancient Inca warriors. As an adaptogen, Maca helps balance stress levels and bolster resiliency in the body. Navitas Organics Maca Powder energizes naturally, without the jitters and crashes of caffeine.

Spectrum Organic Ground Flaxseed: 3g of dietary fiber per serving. Rich in Omega-3 (ALA) fatty acids. No Preservatives. 98mg of lignans per serving. USDA certified organic & Non GMO Project verified

PlantFusion Vanilla Bean Complete Protein Powder: Ideal for recovering from daily stress and exercise, managing appetite and improving energy. Nutrient-dense formula includes 21 grams of complete plant-based protein and only 120 calories per serving. Easy to digest, even for those with sensitive stomachs, given our proprietary blend of enzymes. Free of all major allergens, no dairy, soy, rice, gluten, eggs, nuts, fish, tree nuts or shellfish.

Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides: Pasture-Raised, Grass-Fed, Non-GMO, Kosher; Our collagen powder is soluble in cold and hot liquids. Most of our customers prefer it in coffee or mixed into a smoothie. Collagen peptides promote youthful skin, healthier hair, and stronger nails. Helps keeps bones healthy and strong, supports joint health. Whole 30 Approved, Gluten Free, Dairy Free. Want more info on collagen? Here’s an article I found.


Ultimate Protein Smoothie Recipe (approx. 400 cals, 34-43 g of protein)

Blend the first 7 ingredients together in a blender or Vitamix and once smooth, blend in the protein powder at the very end.

Please note that in addition to the 1/3 frozen banana, I only use ONE of the fruit options below, which could also be substituted by a form of dark leafy greens like baby spinach. The dark berries are lower in sugar than the mango. To further reduce sugar, omit the banana. Enjoy!!

  1. 5-7 small ice cubes

  2. 1/3 frozen banana (30 calories)

  3. 1/2 c. frozen organic mango (60 calories, 14 g sugar) (Costco frozen section) - OR - 1/2 c. frozen organic dark berry blend (45 calories, 4 g sugar) (Costco frozen section)

  4. 1 Tbsp Spectrum Organic Ground Flaxseed (35 calories, 3 g protein)

  5. 1 Tsp Navitas Organics Organic Maca Powder (20 calories, 1 g protein)

  6. 1 or 2 Scoops Vital Proteins Collagen Peptides - Unflavored (35/70 calories, 9 g of protein per scoop)

  7. 1 - 2 cups Silk Almond/Coconut Unsweetened Milk (35/70 calories)

  8. 1 Scoop PlantFusion Vanilla Bean Complete Protein Powder (120 calories, 0 g sugar, 21 g protein per scoop)

Once fully blended, pour, enjoy, and feel great!

Over to You

What are your favorite smoothie ingredients when it comes to veggies, fruits or branded supplements?

List them in the comments below!

A Ridiculously Simple System To Help You Stay Consistent With Your Workouts


If you struggle with staying consistent with your workouts (like I have for most of my adult life,) this post is for you!

A little over a year ago, I wrote a post entitled, “How To Stay Motivated To Workout,” where I shared a list of things I do to keep myself on track with my workouts. Everything I outlined in that post has kept me consistent since then.

However, I have since expanded on the fourth item in that post, which talked about having MINIMUMS and MAXIMUMS to backstop dips in motivation. Here is what #4 said:

4. Have Minimums & Maximums to Backstop Dips in Motivation. As you schedule your workouts, have a MINIMUM number you aim for each week. I've often heard that in order to get results, we need to train at least 4 times a week (5 varied workouts/week is ideal.) Of course, this is something you may need to work up to, but what I've noticed is that 4 workouts keep me consistent. With any fewer, I run the risk of getting off track. And if too many consecutive days go by without getting a workout in, it gets really easy to let the habit fall to the wayside. It's like you have to stay in the flow-- to get results, stay motivated, and strengthen your habit. In addition to your minimum number of workouts per week, keep in mind a MAXIMUM number of days you'll go in between workouts-- for me, that's 3 and 3 is pushing it. Once I've gone two days without working out, I know I need to get back in there ASAP. Stay in the flow!

In this post, I will expand on that concept and share a super simple system that helps me stay consistent with my workouts.

This system is really all I use at this point. It’s so simple that I almost feel silly writing about it, but it works so well for me that I figured it was worth sharing.

Here are the steps:

1 | Commit to a MINIMUM. First, have an absolute MINIMUM number of workouts you will commit to each week. For me, it’s currently 3, but 4 is ideal. If you’re not sure or you’re just getting started, I would suggest 3— but 4 or even 5 is best for really seeing results, especially if you’re also eating clean. My workouts consist of gym workouts, running outside, and mini workouts I do from my home. The more options I have, especially when time is short, the more likely I’ll keep my commitments.

2 | Commit to a MAXIMUM. Now, commit to a MAXIMUM number of days that you will go without working out. If you’re shooting for 3 or 4 workouts a week at a minimum, you really can’t go more than 2 or 3 days without a workout. Again, if you’re just starting out, I would suggest going no more than 3 days because this will keep you in the “flow,” of working out. Establishing your MAXIMUM will ensure that you hit the MINIMUM number of workouts you committed to each week.

3 | Find A Little Spiral Notebook. Now, find a little spiral notebook that’s probably in a drawer in your house and not being used. Just a little one is all you’ll need. It’s all about keeping this simple! If you don’t have one, go to a local dollar store and pick one up. For only a $1, you’re going to lock in this habit, I’m telling you!!

4 | Start Logging. At the top of the first page write “Week of _______” and fill in whatever date you’d like to start your weeks. Personally, I start with Monday, and this works for me because I like ending the week with Saturday and Sunday in case I need the weekend to round out my MINIMUM committed workouts. Use one sheet per week so you can easily see how many times you’ve worked out. Here’s a sample of one of my weekly logs …


5 | Be Specific. Each time you workout, log it in and also write down what you did in your workout— include specific activities, sets, reps, time, distance, etc. The process of writing this down will give you a positive feedback loop and also show you what areas of your body you’re working out. It’s also great to flip back to see what you’ve done to give yourself proof that you’re staying consistent each week. Looking at past workouts will also give you ideas for future workouts.

The more you keep commitments to yourself, the more confidence you will have in yourself, and the more this habit will become part of who you are.

6 | Keep Your Notebook Close. Keep this notebook in a place where you can see it every day. It will also help you with scheduling/planning your workouts every week. Sometimes we don’t always know when we can schedule our workouts, but your MINIMUMS & MAXIMUMS will guide you. If you have a strong commitment to your MIMIMUMS & MAXIMUMS, this act of logging your workouts and seeing what you’re actually doing/not doing will be concrete evidence that you’re either on track or not. For example, if it’s Thursday and you haven’t workout out since Monday, you’ve already reached your MAXIMUM days without working and so you have to make time that day for your workout #2. Then, you can breathe a sigh of relief because you still have Friday - Sunday to make time for workouts #3 or #4 and you’re totally on track. Now that the rest of your week’s schedule is more clear, you may even have a better idea when you can fit in workouts #3 and #4!

7 | No More Guilt, Take Control! The great thing about having minimums, maximums, and logging your workouts is you’ll always know where you stand and you’ll feel less guilt. Even better, as you continue this week by week, your discipline become stronger which translates into feeling more in control of your habit.

So, that’s all there is to it! Ridiculously simple! If you decide to give it a try, I’d love to hear how it goes. I really hope it works as well for you as it does for me.

A Simple Lifestyle Approach To Consistent Self-Care


When we hear about self-care, there’s usually a list of recommended things we could or should be incorporating into our days.

We’re all familiar with them— Eat right. Exercise. Manage stress levels. Spend time with loved ones. Laugh. Get enough sleep. Hydrate, etc.

But rather than feeling lucky to hit on just one or maybe a few of these areas each day, wouldn’t it be great if we started and managed our actions and decisions during the day to hit on most, if not all, of these areas?

It all begins with having a mindset of making yourself a priority (without feeling selfish,) and being ok with spending a little extra time on yourself here and there throughout the day.

Take the extra 60 seconds to cut up a lemon for your water. Spend the extra five minutes cutting up some veggies for a healthy breakfast, rather than a quick fix like a bagel or even skipping breakfast. Or, how about giving yourself permission to kindly say no to a time commitment that will cause you stress or isn’t a priority to you?

Most importantly, when we care for ourselves, we’re also better equipped to care for others— now and for the long term.

In this post my goal is to share an easy-to-implement approach to self-care that works for me. I believe that by being consistent with this simple approach, you will not only feel the difference over time, but you’ll also expand upon it in your own way.

Your approach to self-care should be customized to your needs, personality, likes, dislikes, what’s important to you, and where you are on your own personal journey.

It’s a matter of paying attention to what you need and what works for you.

What works for me may not necessarily work for you in all instances, but hopefully you’ll walk away with at least a few new ideas to incorporate into your approach to self-care.

And by consistently practicing your own approach to self-care, you’ll realize how you are more in control of how you feel than you think!

Without further ado, let’s get into it …

My Approach

I view self-care as being intentional about everyday decisions and actions so they work together, are dependent on each other, and over time ultimately guide me to how I want to feel and where I want to go.

The most important thing I’ve realized is that I can initially elevate my mood and energy levels in the morning and keep them elevated throughout the day by the decisions and actions I take. Not only do I enjoy my day more and have more energy, I’m also more inclined to stay aware of practicing self-care consistently over time.

Gravitate toward what fuels you, and avoid what depletes you and what isn’t important to you.

Morning | Priming Your Mindset & Energy Level

The minute you get out of bed is the most critical time to kick your self-care routine into gear.

Because we our mood and energy level varies from day to day, we have to be proactive about priming our mindsets and energy levels as we begin our days, especially on days when we wake up tired, in a funk, or uninspired.

This involves making conscious decisions to do some things and avoid others.

1 | Eat a healthy breakfast of protein, power foods, and healthy fats. Ever since I participated in a 21-day clean eating challenge at my gym, I realize that breakfast is the most important meal of the day because it primes my energy level for the rest of the day.

Rarely do I eat carbs like bagels and muffins. I also stay away from sugary yogurts.

My go-to breakfast is fresh veggies (including 1 or 2 power veggies), two eggs, and a healthy fat— either a handful of unsalted nuts or a few slices of avocado.

To make this as easy as possible, I always have the veggies partially prepped so all I have to do is cut them up, toss them into the pan, and saute them for a couple of minutes before adding a couple of beaten eggs.

Some of the veggies I frequently use are red and green peppers, red onion, and my two favorite power veggies— baby spinach and shiitake mushrooms.

I highly recommend doing a little research on power veggies to figure out which ones you like the most. The nutritional value of these foods is incredible, and some are even a good source of protein.

Steel cut oatmeal with dark berries and nuts is another option if you’d rather not eat eggs every day.

Consider investing the extra time and effort to eat a healthy, satisfying breakfast because the boost it will give your energy level and mood should last for hours.

2 | Listen to peaceful, uplifting music, a positive message, or if time allows, start a morning routine. To get my mental state on track, I usually start my day by asking Alexa to play music that I find easy to listen to but positive and uplifting. After breakfast as I’m getting ready, if calm music seems too calm, I’ll switch to something more energetic.

The key is to listen to something that elevates my mood and doesn’t bring me down.

I find it best to not even turn on the news because (by design) it’s filled with stories of tragedy that don’t serve me and I don’t even need to know about. If I want to know the weather, I check the weather app on my phone.

At the beginning of the day, whatever I listen to should help me lock in a positive mindset and fuel my energy.

On days when time allows, I’ll indulge in a morning routine, which is always time well spent.

3 | Make the final rinse in your shower cool (or gradually cold!) There’s a lot of research about the benefits of exposing our bodies to cold, and they make sense to me. An easy way to make this part of your routine is by making the final rinse of your shower cool (or even better) gradually cold. To be honest, I often forget to do this, but by writing this post and re-reading the benefits, this is something I want to do more often.

4 | Use a hydrating facial mist. After I get out of the shower, the first thing I do is mist my face with a rosewater facial mist. It feels great. It smells great. And it makes me feel a little pampered as I start the day. When considering buying one, take a close look at the ingredients.

Throughout The Day | Maintaining & Resetting Your Energy

5 | Take breaks. Spend a few minutes to get some fresh air, sun, and take in the sounds of nature. There’s also a lot of research out there about how taking breaks boost our productivity. One school of thought on this is the Pomodoro Technique. If you’re interested in trying it, an online timer can be found here. I think this is a great tool when working on specific types of longer projects that require focus. Taking breaks is also a great way to solve problems and come up with new ideas. That’s because our brains “chew” on the things that are on our minds even while we’re not engaged in them. This is why we often wake up in the morning with a solution to a problem or get the best idea while walking the dog.

6 | Spend some time in nature by yourself. Spending time in nature by yourself is a great way to reset your mind and energy level and to also get answers to questions you may not even realize you have. This summer I did quite a bit of running at places where many people walk, and I was always surprised to see so many women walking in pairs rather than by themselves. The women walking in pairs were typically engaged in a heated discussion that involved complaining or gossiping, and they were missing out on most of the benefits of their walk. Every now and then, consider getting outside by yourself.

7 | Gracefully say “no” to things that don’t serve you. When you get a request to do something or an invitation to go somewhere and that inner voice says, “ugh,” listen to it. It’s telling you that if you say yes, you’ll regret it; you probably won’t have a good time; and you could quite possibly miss out on something that’s more important to you. It’s ok to listen to your gut and pass. If you want to dive into this topic more and learn about essentialism, here’s a great Tim Ferriss podcast episode entitled, “How to say no gracefully and uncommit.” This is a wonderful episode filled with so many strong examples that further support the overall message of this post.

8 | Avoid gossip and drama. It’s amazing how one quick comment or conversation can derail one’s mood or even the entire day. As much as you want to support a friend or relative about their problem, if it can wait, it might be better to save a conversation until the end of the day. Another source of drama can be social media so train yourself to think twice before checking it.

9 | Run your errands during off-peak times. This has come to be one of the best strategies I’ve learned to adopt. Whenever possible, I run my errands when the masses aren’t. For example, I avoid Costco on the weekends as much as possible. Instead, I go after dinner on a weeknight. I practically have the place all to myself, and lines are short. If I must go on the weekends, I try to get there right when they open or just before they close. Another thing I do is avoid stores that tend to always drain me and shop at stores where I have a better experience. Once you start paying close attention to this, it’s pretty eye-opening.

10 | Avoid multi-tasking, especially while doing something you enjoy. I am the first to admit that I get caught up in multi-tasking. I make myself a nice lunch, and then I’ll decide to fold a load of laundry while I take a bite here and there. I’m really trying to stop myself from doing this even if it slows me down a little. It’s worth a few minutes to sit down, relax, and enjoy my lunch. On the other hand, I think multi-tasking works when we’re doing something that is not as enjoyable or even tedious. For example, while prepping dinner, I may turn on a podcast to listen and learn. This actually helps me enjoy the process of prepping dinner more and before I know it, dinner is prepped and I’ve learned something new and feel inspired.

Evening | Winding Down, Reconnecting & Resting

11 | Get comfy. At the end of the day, as soon as you can, put on your most comfortable clothes to start to unwind a little.

12 | Make your phone calls to family & friends. Because I have my day behind me, I find the evening the best time to call family and friends. I find I’m a better listener then too!

13 | If you watch TV, keep it light. Again, I really try to stay away from the news unless there’s a story unfolding that I want to follow. I don’t want to begin or end my day learning about tragic events. I also stay away from violent, disturbing, or criminal shows. I once heard someone say that we eat with all of our senses, meaning we take in what we listen to and watch and that sounds logical to me. Instead, if I watch television at all, I’d rather watch something positive or funny.

14 | Put down your phone about 2 hours before bedtime. This article does a great job of explaining all of the reasons why looking at your phone close to bedtime or even in bed prevents you from getting optimal sleep.

15 | Get the amount of sleep you need. Easier said than done sometimes, but this is huge!

16 | Sleep in a completely dark room. Personally, I need to sleep in a completely dark room. Even the tiniest presence of light can disturb my sleep. Here’s an article with a link to a research study about how sleeping in complete darkness is good for mental health.


So there you have my approach to everyday self-care, which basically involves gravitating toward what fuels me and avoiding non-essential things and situations that deplete me. I find that if I begin my day with this approach in mind, it stays with me throughout the day and carries over into the next. I’ve found that the more that I’ve practiced this, the more it becomes a habit or a lifestyle. As always, good luck with it!!

Evolving Through His Music: 24 Lessons From Prince's Journey Of Creative Expression

Evolving Through His Music: 24 Lessons From Prince's Journey Of Creative Expression

Recently I served as a juror in a civil case. As part of the juror selection process, the judge asked each potential juror a series of questions with the final one being, "If you could have coffee with anyone (alive or deceased and non-religious) who would it be?" Without hesitation, I answered, "Prince." 

I chose Prince because after learning more about him since his passing in April 2016, I have questions-- questions that were not asked of him during any of the interviews I've come across on YouTube.

Questions like, How did you get so much done? How did you alter your life so you remained in your creative flow? or Do you think you cracked the code on human potential when it comes to creativity?

When Prince was interviewed by the media or show hosts, the conversations typically turned to the usual controversial topics such as his dispute with his record label, Warner Brothers. Or, the interviewer tried to get Prince to open up about his "secret vault," where he stored his unreleased music.

Sadly, the answers to these questions shed no light on how he worked every single day of his 41-year career to become the master that he was, producing 39 studio albums (of various genres,) 4 live albums, and 136 music videos. He also won 8 Grammys, 6 American Music Awards, a Golden Globe, and an Academy Award for Purple Rain and was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2004.

More important than any of the awards, Prince consistently created new material for his entire career and performed his new material live in a fresh production every time. He also evolved not only as a musician, songwriter, and performer, he evolved spiritually and as a person through his music.

Interviewers, in my opinion, missed opportunity after opportunity to gain a better understanding of how he was able to accomplish what he did. How many hours did he practice? What was his daily routine? Did he recognize and avoid the things that blocked his creativity? What about a follow-up question after he often said, "I am the music" or "I dream in music?" Why did he believe he evolved as a person, an artist as well as spiritually through his music?

I've been wanting to write a post about Prince for some time to possibly piece together the answers to some of my questions while also shine a light on just how rare he was.

Real Jersey Shore's 2018 Get Ready For Summer Guide

Real Jersey Shore's 2018 Get Ready For Summer Guide

We've all been there. After being covered up from head to toe since November, the forecast shows summer temps are here to stay, and our arms, legs, and toes get caught off guard when it's finally time to consistently break out the tanks, shorts, and sandals. Then, when we go to try on last Summer's clothes, not everything fits like it did in August. Yikes!

Instead of getting caught off guard on many fronts, think of how ready you would be if, from Sunday, April 15 through Thursday, May 24 you did a little bit every day to get ready for summer?

The next 6 weeks present a great window of opportunity to get ready for bathing-suit and strappy-sandal season.

Added bonus: Working towards looking & feeling great means you'll enjoy every minute of each day more!

In this post, I list many of the ways to get ready for summer, broken down by category. And by clicking on either of the two red buttons, you'll be able to download a helpful 12-page printer-friendly guide, which gives you the tools to put your best toes forward and get things done to look and feel ready!

Here we go!